Motivationally Challenged

This is the first day in the life of ... me.
At least it is the first day that I wrote about.

I am so motivationally challenged that nothing seems important enough to put forth the effort for. I need a job...I need a life...I need validation.

I find myself flying solo after 32 years with the same man. The one I thought I would grow old with.

The one "constant" in my life has been my marriage. It may not have been the greatest marriage in history but it was constant. I have ALWAYS been there for him, and for the most part he has been there for me. We have gone through some trying times. I am a firm believer that what don't kill you will make you stronger. Well now is the time for that STRENGTH.

I gave him my youth...he didn't take it, I gave it away. We married when I was 14 and began our family the first year we were married. For 32 years I have had one purpose in life and that was to be a wife and mother. I did my job to the very best of my ability. Then I got a "pink slip" so to speak!

Now I have to figure out how to start over...with nothing but life experience to fall back on. You see, I am basicly uneducated and have absolutely NO self esteem. The world is too fast paced for me to keep up and I have no idea where to begin.

I have the support of my oldest son and his wife, my mother and sisters. But even with all their good intentions, they haven't any answers for me.

I would love to back my life up about 10 years and do a few things different, but that is all water under the bridge.

So as I lay down tonight, I will pray fervently for answers and see if God has a plan for me. I have let Him down so much this past year that He probably doesn't want to hear from me either.

Tomorrow will be another day in the life of ... me. Maybe things will be a little clearer.